Putting Community Ahead of Self

Colleen, Me, Eleni,

Nomvula, and Chloe

I'm so glad that Giana has the opportunity to work side by side with Christian people who actually put Community ahead of self. I experienced it with her in Malawi, and that same kind of "others" thinking was evident at Refilwe from day one.

A friend of mine was in Swaziland last month and in one of her Facebook posts she praised the people in the village where they'd set up camp for the way they worked together as a family and team. It's as God would have it to be. I haven't experienced too much of that here in America, and I suspect it's because we simply have too much. We dump our friends without thought, knowing there are new friends right around the corner. Business owners can mistreat employees because there are dozens of people anxious for a job. On and on it goes.

We absolutely need one another here in America, but we are often just too selfish, jealous, independent, or just plain mean to acknowledge or recognize that fact. 

I've said this before, but it bears reiterating here. One of the reasons I'm drawn to Theatre is because it's a place where people from varying walks of life, differing beliefs, and a wide range of philosophies all come together and work in harmony for the good of the whole - for the purpose of doing good work. 

My friend Rhonda told me she didn't need me because she had other strong women in her life and I wasn't strong enough. After fifteen years of friendship I was now expendable. Because she didn't need me, she undermined my reputation, made assumptions about my motives and character, and was a major factor in me loosing my job, my circle of friends (I thought they were friends), and eventually being told to leave our church home.

Oh sure, there's drama among the people in Africa - they are human after all - but where the needs are the greatest, the love, acceptance, and tolerance is also the greatest.

St. Francis of Assisi said, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words." I see this philosophy lived out in other parts of the world, but here in America most Christians talk the talk far better than they walk the walk. That is my personal experience, so please don't accuse me of generalizing.

I was once passed over for a role in a church production. I was told that since I co-wrote the piece it wouldn't be "fair" for me to also get an acting role. I completely respected the ministry leader for his decision. 

A few days after the production cast list was posted I got a call from the woman who got the role I auditioned for. Karin told me she'd harbored bad feelings towards me and she wanted me to know that she'd been so upset with me that she'd gone forward during prayer time to deal with her anger. She said, "My husband told me they were going to give you the role in the production, but I told him that wasn't fair.  I asked for prayer and I just want you to know that I'm no longer angry with you. God is good."

What!? In one phone call I learned that I had been considered for the role but it was my friend who'd convinced the powers that be that it wouldn't be "fair", and that instead of being happy for me she was angry with me for something her husband had told her.  But, I was supposed to be grateful because she'd "prayed about it" and now it was all good. Everything about that exchange was in direct opposition to what Jesus taught us about relationship, conflict, and resolution. I was broken, but she was spiritually cleansed. Ugh.

The same kind of thing happened a few years ago on the last night of my first trip to Africa. We'd had a GREAT three weeks of relationship building with some of the most needy yet happiest people I'd ever met. Daniel was a student leader on our team and he asked to talk to me.

Daniel:  Liz, can I talk to you?

Me:  Sure, come on in.

Daniel:  During our study time tonight, God revealed to me that I've had anger in my heart toward you, and I need to confess it and make it right.

Me:  Oh Daniel, I'm so sorry. What did I do to make you angry?

Daniel:  Nothing. You just bug me. God showed me that I needed to tell you I wasn't mad at you anymore. Bless you Liz.

I was left sitting in the middle of the room - devastated. He manipulated scripture to show his spiritual pride, while at the same time crushing me. There are a number of scriptures that teach conflict resolution, but not liking someone is a personal conflict, and should've been handled personally. 

I've seen this again and again and again. Christians use the Bible as a weapon to kill and destroy those that get in their way, "bug" them, or who have specks in their eye, while all the time failing to see the plank in their own eye.

1 Corinthians 13 is widely known as "The Love Chapter" and its words are often recited at weddings.  Let's all say it together, "Love is patient; Love is kind; Love does not envy or boast..." yada yada.  That particular chapter of the Bible is actually an admonition. The Corinthian Church had become proud and they considered themselves better than everyone else.  Not only did they note all the specks in everyone else's eye while ignoring the planks in their own eyes, but they didn't want the old speck-eyes anywhere near the country club they called "church".  

That kind of Corinthian mentality is all too common in today's Church. Again - this is my personal experience. The Christian Church is growing in other parts of the world, while attendance and membership is plummeting here in America. I believe it's because we have so much and we do not recognize our need for one another. We've become selfish, independent, finger-pointing elitists.

Is it any wonder I want to go back to Africa where the need is great, and the love is greater? Again, I'm so very grateful that Giana has the opportunity to work alongside Christians who put community ahead of self.

Mikey Cleave - Refilwe Volunteer.  Love!