Monday, July 25, 2005

Spiritual Cutters

Over the course of the past year I have had the opportunity to meet many young people who are cutters. Although it's difficult for me to believe that in today's world there are many people who are unfamiliar with "cutting", let me share a bit with those of you who are unaware of this practice. You see, there are people who are in such emotional and sometimes physical pain that they cut parts of their body in order to feel better. How can added pain be good? The phenomenon is surely not completely understood, but the physical pain of cutting is most often a distraction from the existing physical and/or emotional pain. It's just a means by which people can forget all the other hurts in their lives.

The message in this blog is not so much about who cuts, why they cut, when they cut, etc..., but rather it's about those people I see as Spiritual Cutters. The Bible refers to believers as "The Body of Christ" and Christians themselves refer to churches, denominations, and/or the entire world of believers as "The Body". What drives members of the body to cut other body parts? Many cutters are masters at hiding the wounds while some actually flaunt their cutting. So it is with Spiritual Cutters. Many do it so subtly and to parts of the body which will always stay hidden and they are very good at hiding their destructive behavior. There are others who use weapons of words, judgment, condemnation, and gossip (just to name a few) and the number of bleeding body parts they leave in their wake are many and obvious.

What drives Spiritual Cutters to their destruction? I submit that it is exactly what drives all cutters - they are looking for a distraction from their own pain. Perhaps they are hoping that if they cause a bloody wound to be exposed they will draw attention away from their own gaping lesions left by sin and guilt.

One thing is truth - cutters are in pain. There are healing paths - paths that do not include the infliction of more pain on more body parts.

Friday, July 8, 2005

Comfort Zones

So I hear a lot of this lately, "don't let the actions of a few thoughtless people affect your whole life". Right! I couldn't agree more. I wonder, however, what kind of people go around unaffected by the thoughtless actions of the people they love the most. Do I want to be that kind of person? Where's the line between being affected enough to learn and grow and being hurt, or even broken? If I could find that line I'd be the strongest person I know. I feel like the yellow flag tied to the center of a long rope and flailing helplessly in a tug of war between two teams. One team cries the victory mantra, "I'm wonderful and amazing and you lose 'cuz you don't know me", and the other team drowns out the victory yells with "I get it - I'm worthy of nothing more than betrayal and sadness". One of the teams will eventually drown in the cold pit over which I dangle, but who will emerge the victor?

Why do I have to be the only one who changes and accepts the unacceptable? Why won't you take a risk? Crawl out of YOUR comfort zone, YOU do something uncomfortable for a change, show me...stop telling me - SHOW ME!!!!!

It's hard. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

Monday, July 4, 2005

About Me

So I guess I should start by telling you a bit about myself. No (the man behind the curtain calls to me) that would be cliche'. Besides, I want you to come back - again and again. What about myself would pique your interest? First, you should know I've never won a spelling bee - that you will surely discover on your own should you read any of my posts at all. Secondly, as is true for most of us, I started my adult life believing in grand ideas and the impossible. I believed I could do anything I wanted, be anything I saw in the looking glass of my imagination, and was worthy of a million friends.

Two marriages, one divorce, three children, and a thousand disappointments later I'm wondering if I still believe.