California Pretty

I told you all in the previous post about the trip Dallas and I took to Memphis, TN last month. Dallas was able to sit and chat with his Grandpa Wayne just hours before Grandpa passed away. It was a precious time.

When we arrived at the nursing home that night, Dallas’s uncle Tim was there to greet us. My ex-brother-in-law is one of the kindest men I know. He was 19 or 20 years old when I married his brother, Terry in 1982. Tim has a quiet, sweet nature, and when we first met he made me laugh. We always got along great, and I’m proud that Dallas gets to call him “Uncle”.

My ex-husband had apparently been to the hospital often to see his dad. I say “apparently” because the staff seemed to know who Terry was, but he rarely (if ever) visited his dad when the rest of the family was around. Wayne’s wife Sue hadn’t seen Terry in 15 years.

While we were all visiting in Grandpa’s room, a bubbly nurse came in and happily greeted “Mr. Clay” and the whole family. Terry’s stepsister, Tammy pointed at Dallas and said, “Do you know who this is?” She looked at my son and she knew immediately who he was.

“You’re that hot man’s boy. Oooo, you’re daddy’s hot.”

The Memphis family hadn’t seen Dallas Wayne in 13 years, and everyone was blown away by how very much he resembles the birth father he never knew. We all laughed at the nurse’s correct assessment of just how my son was connected to the family.

She looked at me. “His daddy’s hot.”

I said, “You don’t have to tell me. I’m the mama.”

“You’re the mama. Oooo girl, I thought you were the girlfriend!” She crossed the room to deliver a high-five. “Where ya’ll from?”

“California.”

“Oooo”, she squealed, “I’ve got to get out to California and get me some of that California pretty.”

Her enthusiasm was absolutely contagious—and her compliment was nice too.

The whole exchange got me thinking; do people know when they look at me that I’m God’s kid? Do they see the family resemblance?

Ooooo, I’ve got to me in The Word and get me some of that Jesus pretty.

Family Resemblance

We’ve all seen them. They’re in the mall, in the grocery store, in the car sitting next to us at the red light, in church, even at family functions. They are kids – other people’s children – who misbehave, throw tantrums, scream, and just generally act obnoxious. When we encounter these obviously undisciplined little monsters, we’ve all done it…..we’ve asked ourselves, “what is wrong with the parents and why aren’t they fixing that kid?”

Lately we’ve heard all the stories about “young Hollywood” running amok – Britney, Paris, Lyndsay, Nicole – these girls provide seemingly never-ending fodder for gossip papers, newspapers, and late night talk show comedians. The daytime talk shows have been asking the question, “Where are their parents and what did they do wrong?”

I’m a mom whose own children were challenging (to say the least) and my kids have made more than their fair share of mistakes. I’ve heard many a condemning whisper from so-called friends about my parenting skills and my children have been the topic of hushed conversation among the busy bodies in my world. My kids are now young adults and they are the first to tell you that my husband and I were very present and were indeed tough but fair disciplinarians. My children will tell you that they themselves are responsible for the poor and dangerous choices they made. But…the judgmental whispers about me – the mom - rattle about.

So, using the same logic – that the missteps of a child are a direct reflection of poor parenting, I submit a question for you to ponder today. For those among us who claim to be Christians, how often do you think people look at our behavior and judge The Father? Don’t you know that when we treat one another callously, thoughtlessly, selfishly, judgmentally, or rudely, we are a reflection of God the father? Wait! That’s not fair! Well, fair or not, why would people want God for a Father when they see His kids battling one another in word and deed every single day?